How to cope when bad things happen. Have you ever felt like your life has been going smoothly and then suddenly out of nowhere you run into a circumstance that turns your whole world upside down? Simple answers don’t suffice, and God is no longer fitting into the nice little box He used to fit in. The psychological term for this experience is “cognitive dissonance”. This means that we are having a conflict with what we thought we believed.
Is it possible to not understand everything and still have a relationship with a God that you believed was good, even though He let this bad thing happen? I can’t promise that everything will make sense on this side of eternity, but we can shift our confidence from being contingent upon our circumstances to being contingent upon the character of God. My hope is that this post will act as a guide to start your journey in discovering how to not only cope when bad things happen, but to thrive.
What about God’s Goodness?
“The greater your knowledge of the goodness and grace of God on your life, the more likely you are to praise Him in the storm.” Matt Chandler
Someone I don’t personally know but that I follow on Instagram posted about their second miscarriage. At the end he said, “it’s times like these that make me questions God’s goodness.”
Now I am not judging him, because I go to that place too at times. However when I read that everything inside of me never wanted to question His goodness again.
His goodness and love for us is just as strong when good or bad things happen. He doesn’t make the bad things happen. Although it is easy to start thinking about why He ‘let’s’ things happen if He has the power to stop them.
We may never fully understand why He miraculously saves one person from a horrific situation and not someone else. But what I know in my heart is that He is more heart broken about the situation then we are.
He never wanted any of this pain to come into our lives. That’s why I believe He has given us the power and authority to bring change.
He needed to give us freedom, and He gives us chances everyday to get to know him more. The more we know Him the more we will be OK no matter what bad things happens to us, or around us.
***This post may contain affiliate links, but only to products I genuinely love. It won’t cost you anything extra. You can read the full disclosure here.***
God’s Goodness and Freedom
It is important to understand that He has given us many opportunities to live differently, to live from heavens perspective.
I had a revelation while I was laying in bed last night. I saw an image of a little boy around 2 years old. He had been hurt because his friend didn’t want to play with him.
He was crying as if it was the worst thing that could happen in the world. His Mother came and consoled him, peacefully hugging him, telling him that it was going to be alright.
She was just smiling at him, looking into his face and telling him that everything was going to be OK.
I felt that she met him so perfectly in that place. She instead looked after him, gave him peace and made him feel safe.
His Mum could do this because time had a different meaning for her. She knew that even though he was in a lot of pain now that in 20 minutes he would be playing and laughing again.
In 2 hours they would both be best friends again. In a couple of days after that, he wouldn’t even remember what happened.
That little boy couldn’t comprehend or see that, because he doesn’t understand time like his Mother does. He only knows how to live in the moment, where she sees weeks, months and even years into the future.
That’s how I feel like God is too. He has an eternal perspective which is something we cannot fully comprehend or see while we are living on earth. He really wants to teach us how to cope when bad things happen.
“The goodness of God is infinitely more wonderful than we will ever be able to comprehend.” A.W. Tozer
(If you want to delve deeper into the Goodness of God, I highly recommend Bill Johnson’s book ‘God is Good-he’s better than you think‘.)
Seeing with Heaven’s perspective when bad things happen
God can see into eternity, and so we need to have a bigger perspective about what happens here on earth. This is not an excuse for bad things to happen, or saying that they are OK, but God did say that we would experience troubles on this earth. However, He said these things, that in Him we may have peace because He has overcome the World. (John 16:33)
My point is that our perspective needs to change. I know God doesn’t like seeing us in pain and wants us healed, set free. Through Jesus death I believe we have access to healing, I also believe that He wants to give us an eternal perspective so that we are not blinded by this world.
We can complain and blame God for everything bad that happens. However, what if we took on a perspective that believed that it’s not God’s fault?
He loves us. He has given us power and grace and peace to live out our days on this earth with an eternal perspective.
A Mumma’s beautiful revelation on how to cope when bad things happen
A little girl died at the end of last year. Her name was Olive. Her Mum has one of the most insanely beautiful perspectives about life and how to cope when bad things happen. I thought it would be a perfect ending to this post…
“If ‘this life is a breath’ then why am I taking it? ‘Teach us to number our days’, and then do what with them? We ‘are like grass’, so why am I still green with life?
When we understand that death isn’t darkness. That because of Jesus, the fear of death was completely shamed into becoming a passage into fuller life. These questions don’t feel so morbid or out of place. They feel essential.
When we look at our days from eternity’s vantage point. Back to forward and not forward to back we begin to ask different questions, better ones.
I’m not afraid of the end of life here, I eagerly await it. I have tasted eternity’s beauty and my heart, in a very real way, is in part already there.
So it only makes sense to stand heaven-side. To look at the many rest of my days, and it’s a very different view from there. I see green-with-life purpose, hope, redemption.
There are plans for my life that matter to eternity and need to be completed here. I don’t have the answers. But a byproduct of walking through this valley is that I’m standing on the right side of the question. And from here I believe my every breath will turn triumphant.” –@kalleyheili
If you enjoyed this post, you may like:
-‘How to Overcome Shame and Live a Life you Love‘
– ‘6 Books that changed my view on Emotional Wellness‘
– ‘Declarations that could Change your Life‘
Thank you!!!
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